The "Marrying" Guy
It's funny how one's perspective can change with time. When I first came to Dallas the first guy I went on a date with wanted serious relationship right from the start. He made his intentions clear from the started that he saw me as "husband" material, which was something I wasn't interested in. I thought being in a new city I would date and see what is out there for me. I have started to realized why the guy was trying to lock me down so quickly ... there aren't many good men out there. Now I feeling like I am becoming the they guy that I once mocked.
When I realized I was gay, I never thought about marriage because I never thought it would not be a possibility. It had nothing to do with the legalities of gay marriage, but more with not understanding how a relationship with two men could work. I never met a gay couple (male or female) until I moved to Dallas and since then I met about 15. After spending time with these couples, some whom been together for over a decade, I've changed my outlook. Now seeing gay relationships first-hand I know that it's something that I would like to have. I know that relationships vary from couple to couple. Some couple are monogamous, some allow a 3rd to join periodically, and some are wide open. I prefer a completely monogamous relationship, but understand why others choose other types. Know what I want in/from a relationship the only issue is:
Where do I find my partner?
I discussed my issues with meeting people through dating websites, and I am mostly approached (and fondled) by men (and some woman) who I am not interested in for various reasons. I thought I found that person I was meant to be with, and we had these set milestones that we unfortunately we didn't reach ... however, they are not unreachable.
So where does that leave me?
Don't get me wrong -- I don't mind being single, I just thought I would already be settled in a long-term relationship by now. Someone I know made it his mission to get me "married off" by the end of this year. But he is now in a relationship and I don't see much of him.
So, I guess I have to make this journey alone.
When I realized I was gay, I never thought about marriage because I never thought it would not be a possibility. It had nothing to do with the legalities of gay marriage, but more with not understanding how a relationship with two men could work. I never met a gay couple (male or female) until I moved to Dallas and since then I met about 15. After spending time with these couples, some whom been together for over a decade, I've changed my outlook. Now seeing gay relationships first-hand I know that it's something that I would like to have. I know that relationships vary from couple to couple. Some couple are monogamous, some allow a 3rd to join periodically, and some are wide open. I prefer a completely monogamous relationship, but understand why others choose other types. Know what I want in/from a relationship the only issue is:
Where do I find my partner?
I discussed my issues with meeting people through dating websites, and I am mostly approached (and fondled) by men (and some woman) who I am not interested in for various reasons. I thought I found that person I was meant to be with, and we had these set milestones that we unfortunately we didn't reach ... however, they are not unreachable.
So where does that leave me?
Don't get me wrong -- I don't mind being single, I just thought I would already be settled in a long-term relationship by now. Someone I know made it his mission to get me "married off" by the end of this year. But he is now in a relationship and I don't see much of him.
So, I guess I have to make this journey alone.
Labels: dating, the ex files
by Killervirgo @ 1:55 PM| --- Say, what?
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Comments on "The "Marrying" Guy"
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Paul said ... (July 8, 2008 at 5:45:00 PM CDT) :
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Killervirgo said ... (July 8, 2008 at 11:57:00 PM CDT) :
You got something to add?Hi Killervirgo. I think you date someone that you are interested in - and see where it goes. How can you tell before you know someone better if you would even be interested in a long-term relationship? That isn't possible after only a couple of conversations - it's something that develops over time as well. Keep meeting new people, and keep being honest (re: your earlier post) ... the right guy will indeed come along - and he'll be lucky as hell!
Paul: When I date someone the subject of relationships seems to creep into the conversation. When it does, I describe what I look for in a possible relationship. I like to be clear in the beginning to avoid any confusion later on.