Put Out , Or Not Put Out
This past Sunday I was out having dinner with friends and the conversation turned to why a friend of ours, JL, was not dating anyone.
JL stated that he was just waiting for the right person came along. The conversation lasted for about an hour, and leaving out the details, my other friend FM stated that JL's last "relationship" ended because he didn't have sex with his boyfriend. Yes -- it was JL's fault that the guy he was dating had sex with someone else while dating him.
JL and I were stunned at the statement.
FM's point was that if you don't have sex with someone, then you never know if you are truly compatible with one another -- and eventually they will go and find someone else with whom to have sex. JL and are in similar in age and share the same view point that less is more when it come to sex. FM is about 13 years older, so I guess the reason why we didn't see eye-to-eye on this matter could have been generational. FM suggested that we should "put ourselves out there" and go find someone to hook-up with just to have the experience. The idea was quickly shot down but the two of us.
FM's boyfriend, who is the manager at the restaurant, joined us in middle of this discussion and was asked to joined the discussion. He decision with split. He agree that there is no excuse for cheating while dating someone indeterminate of the length of time, but also stated that sex played a major part in his ideal relationship. He was Switzerland and also in same age bracket as JL and I.
I think we were all cranky because they ran out of ribs just before we arrived. Next Sunday we will get our fill of ribs and a discussion with more levity.
JL stated that he was just waiting for the right person came along. The conversation lasted for about an hour, and leaving out the details, my other friend FM stated that JL's last "relationship" ended because he didn't have sex with his boyfriend. Yes -- it was JL's fault that the guy he was dating had sex with someone else while dating him.
JL and I were stunned at the statement.
FM's point was that if you don't have sex with someone, then you never know if you are truly compatible with one another -- and eventually they will go and find someone else with whom to have sex. JL and are in similar in age and share the same view point that less is more when it come to sex. FM is about 13 years older, so I guess the reason why we didn't see eye-to-eye on this matter could have been generational. FM suggested that we should "put ourselves out there" and go find someone to hook-up with just to have the experience. The idea was quickly shot down but the two of us.
FM's boyfriend, who is the manager at the restaurant, joined us in middle of this discussion and was asked to joined the discussion. He decision with split. He agree that there is no excuse for cheating while dating someone indeterminate of the length of time, but also stated that sex played a major part in his ideal relationship. He was Switzerland and also in same age bracket as JL and I.
I think we were all cranky because they ran out of ribs just before we arrived. Next Sunday we will get our fill of ribs and a discussion with more levity.
Labels: friendly discussion
by Killervirgo @ 1:48 PM| --- Say, what?
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Comments on "Put Out , Or Not Put Out"
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Paul said ... (September 24, 2008 at 7:40:00 PM CDT) :
You got something to add?A healthy relationship means being compatible with another person, enjoying being with them, and wanting to spend time with them. Sex is part of that healthy relationship, but it is by no means the only part, and should not be the most important part. A relationship is always a negotiation, and every couple comes to different results I guess. I don't think that you ever have to 'put out' just for the experience.