1.23: You're Fired

Yesterday was the worst days of my professional career. My company had layoffs, and it affect affect about 40% of the employees. I am still emotionally drained from the experience and I am just trying to make it through the week. Here were my thought yesterday using excerpts of an email I sent to a friend:

Monday: A company wide email was send with 18 retail and 3 manufacturing plant closings, and that is when I had a feeling that we would loss someone. My gut told me it was [a co-worker] because his region was hardest hit, but I figured we could reconfigure the regions and things would be well.

Tuesday: I was informed that there would be 40% (which I thought was 40 people) layoffs on Wednesday in advance of our corporate meeting. I was assured I was safe, but still didn't really think it would affect [my team].

Today: I got in this morning and [a co-worker] let me know that he was going home. I thought he was going home sick, but I looked down and saw an empty box at the floor for his belongings. I was in shock and disbelief. I check the other [team members] and saw he was the only person let go, and then I became angry. I asked to speak with my super. to ask why [this co-worker] was leaving and not this other guy, which I was informed that the other guy was leaving as well. I was gutted, because I had no idea that two people were leaving. After all this, seeing people in close door meetings with their supers and getting the bad news made me a bit ill.

I've never witness someone having to pack their belongings after being asked to leave. Especially when you are one of the "lucky" ones who still employed. I felt guilty because I tried to reassure the co-worker that everything would be fine, and it wasn't. Strangely enough I got a call the day before layoffs from a staffing company asking if I knew anyone looking for a position. Coincidence? No, because several other people received the same call. I forwarded the information to the laid off co-worker and we shook hands before he headed out the other door. Hopefully he won't be out of work for long.

I am still a bit out of sorts and nothing will make sense until a few weeks. We have to restructure our entire team and I am not sure how this will happen.

Right now, I am just waiting for the dust to settle.