This was said to me by some guy I met. My limited Spanish couldn't figure out what this guy meant at first, so he had to explain it to me. Loosely translated:
"I want to cover you with kisses as though I were eating you."
AWFUL! This was my first tournament since the beginning of May 2008, and I haven't been playing a lot of singles in preparation for tournament. I played a half set the Tuesday before, but nothing more. My serve was really off, my forehand was horrible, and I don't want to even mention my backhand. It was hard to concentrate on the match because during the change-overs the guy I was playing was hitting on me. He was 19 years old and in the Army. While cute, he was not my type -- too young and too thin.
Second Match - Consolation Draw
Won: 6-3, 6-2
I was more warmed up and my game started to click. My first serve was more consistent, and my second serve was much better. I only double faulted 2 times compared to the 8 times the previous match. The guy I played had a very inconsistent backhand so I took advantage of that. The guy also didn't have a good serve so I pounced on his weak second serves. It was 99 degrees during this match (not sure of the on-court temp), but I didn't feel any affects from it. I drank a lot of ice water and I didn't feel tired.
7/26/2008
Third Match - Consolation Draw
Won: 6-4, 6-0
At the very beginning of the match neither I or my opponent could hold serve. It wasn't until 3-3 where I broke his serve, and then held mine for 5-3 ... only to be broken again. I broke his server giving me the first set. I wasn't happy with my performance and decided to step it up a notch. My ground stroke and serve improved dramatically during the second set and I bagel'd my opponent.
Fourth Match - Consolation Draw
Lost: 2-6, 6-3, 8-10 (super tie-breaker)
Again my serve and ground strokes were off and I couldn't get it together the first set. I used my frustration to focus for the second set, where I improved and won 6-3. The last set, which was a super tie-break (first person to 10 points), I was up 6-1 and I got ahead of myself and lost focus and made many errors. I ended up losing 6 straight points and ultimately the match. I began to think about the next day's match instead of closing out the current match. I tend to loss focus a lot when I play, because, for me, it is just a game so I don't ultra competitive. I would like to win all my matches, but if I lose, it is not a big deal. Each match you learn how to improve for the next match.
I really didn't think I would do this well consider my recently health issues, but the past 6 weeks in the gym helped me out tremendously. I feel fit and healthy again for my next tournament starting on Aug 8th.
What's better than a British period costume drama? A British period costume drama with gay subplot, that's what. I enjoyed the film even thought I have never read the book or seen the 1981 TV series of the same name. The full extent of relationship between Sebastian Flyte and Charles Ryder wasn't clear from the film -- well, at least to me. Emma Thompson is all over this poster, but her role in the film rather limited. I guess once you win an Oscar, you can demand that type of thing. The film gets kind of slow near the end, but overall, it was good.
I went to this French thiller on the suggestion of a friend of mine. This film is a murder-mystery about a man whose wife was murdered and 8 years later his is forced to revisit her death. From there, the film take many twists and turns that may leave you scratching your head. However, everything becomes clear and things make more sense at the end ... like most films do. The movie is two hours long because the story was so entriguing that the time just flew by.
I went to Kiehl's the other day after getting back from the gym. I got to shop at 7:02pm only to find out they closed at 7:00pm. I saw the cashiers at the registered and tried to open the doors -- which were locked. I turned away and headed back to the care, when I heard one of the cashiers open the doors and invited me in. With her convivial attitude, she pointed me to the direction of the item I sought and made sure that it was the item I wanted. At the register, I paid for my item and she overloaded me with free samples. I said goodbye and thanked her for opening the store after closing time then walked to the Tom Thumb nearby.
At Tom Thumb, I noticed that I was being watched by the cashiers. After getting my cheddar cheese and tortilla chips for the taco salad I planned on preparing, I headed to the checkout line. While the male cashier scanned my items, he said:
"Sorry that we are all staring at you, but we never seen a black man shop at this store."
The Kiehl's and the Tom Thumb are both located in Highland Park Village, which is located a wealthy area of Dallas known as Highland Park. There aren't very many minorities living this area. This cashier and all the others were black, and we all laughed because his statement was probably true.
Mamma Mia! is a movie that didn't really draw my attention when I saw the trailer. When I saw a clip of Pierce Bronson singing (bless his heart) on The Daily Show, I decided that the movie was not for me. Yesterday a group of people decided to go see it, and I tagged along. And I am glad that I did. The first 10 minutes of the movie were really frantic and nothing really made sense. As it progressed it was clear that I had to stop trying to make sense of the movie and just enjoy the camp-y ride. Acting was okay, the direction was a bit off, but the ABBA songs made up for what the movie was lacking. I would recommend this movie but you can't go in with any expectation (even if you saw the play). Just go to have fun.
The Dark Knight was really good -- but to me the movie isn't about Batman or Bruce Wayne. The movie was squarely on the shoulders of the late Heath Ledger. His portrayal of The Joker was riveting and Aaron Eckhart did a great job as Harvey Dent/Two-Face. My only issue with the movie is Batman. Christian Bale is a great actor, but he is stuck in a suit for most of the movie. He is also doing this weird raspy voice which is a bit distracting. When Christian Bale is Bruce Wayne he has very little to do, almost as if he is a supporting character. With that said, I still enjoyed the movie.
Yesterday when I was out and about when this guy came up to me and we started chatting. I was it started off as small talk and I let it be known that I wasn't interested in hooking up in anyway. He said he wasn't either, be just wanted to talk. After about a 10 minute conversation he started to asking really personal questions that typically leads to hooking up. I told the guy I wasn't interested and ended the conversation by saying it was nice to talk before I walked away. They guy was very handsome, but I don't hook up with people because it's not for me. It's a personal thing, and not a judgement call. It bothers me that the guy's intention was to try to hook up with me, but he said he wasn't. Why? It could have saved us both time if he was upfront about what his intentions were from the jump.
[addendum: this applies to online profiles/chats. If you state or your profiles says you are looking for friend/chat only, then don't ask sexual questions. It's a very "stranger with candy" scenario. Hypocrisy is not a good look on anyone. Case in point: Jeese Jackson.]
Ugh.
This weekend has gone by way too quick. I guess that happens when you are busy out and about doing things. Next weekend will be even more busy because I got a birthday party to attend and a tennis tournament.
I guess it is better to have too much to do, than too little.
I just bought my ticket for a tomorrow morning showing of The Dark Knight. I found this iPhone App where you can Joker-ize your photos. Just thought I would share.
I've decided to change my style a little bit. I love wearing polo shirts and either jeans or a pair shorts, but I think it is time to switch up my style a bit. I really want to start wearing button-down dress/casual shirts but it's difficult for me find shirts that fit properly.
I have broad shoulders/back, long arms and a small waist. If I find button-down shirts that fit my shoulders/back, the sleeves are too long and there is a ton of excess fabric to tuck into my pants. I think they only way to resolve this problem is to have my shirts altered to fit my proportions. I have about 10 button-down shirts I almost never wear because the fit is wrong and I would like to work them into my wardrobe. I am going to send one of my shirts to have it altered, and see if it really makes a difference. I may post before and after pics.
I am also thinking of getting some new jeans that are more form fitting to my body. My waist is 32" but I buy size 36" because I like them to be loose. As a result, there is about 3-5 inches of excess fabric around my thighs. They are really comfortable, but I think they make me look sloppy. I don't want to wear tight pants like Omarion but I want a more fitted look.
Maybe I have been watching too many fashion related television shows, but I think it is time to refine my look. I don't have to dress up for work so I think I have become lazy. So I think it is time to set up my clothing game and get some proper clothes.
In my efforts to get back in shape after my long illness, I decided to cut out my drink of choice: Sprite. I am trying to make a conscious effort to cut down on the amount of sugar and high fructose corn syrup I consume. So, instead of sugar for tea I will use honey; and instead of store brand syrup for waffles/pancakes I will use natural maple syrup. This past weekend during dinner with some people I know, I ordered a unsweetened iced tea, which caused some illicit stares. I explained my new "plan" and people seemed interested in what I was doing.
In an effort to find a new drink to tide me over, I decided to go back to the drink of my childhood: Kool-Aid. I went to the store yesterday to seek out my favorite flavor ... red. Red for me is either cherry or tropical punch -- strawberry is not allowed. I found the aisle and I began my search for some red. While searching, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that some people were watching me ... but I am not sure why. I got some red, orange (color, not the flavor), and blue. While walking from the aisle, I ran into someone from my tennis club. We said hello and looked at the items in my hand.
"Kool-Aid?" he asked.
I said yes and explained why I got the drink while he just smiled and nodded. We had a bit of small-talk before saying our goodbyes. As he walked away, he gave me this look. It was the same look that people gave me earlier.
Is there a stigma on Kool-Aid that I am not aware of?
This past Friday was the first day the Apple iPhone 3G went on sale. I thought I would go to the AT&T store a block away from my office around 7:45am to see the length of the line. The line was wrapped around the building with nearly 200 people. I wasn't going to wait so i headed to work.
While at work, I was reading some tech blogs saw some reports that people were waiting for hours because the iTunes server crashed and phones couldn't be activated. Some people were sent home with unactivated phones, and first generation phones were being disabled after upgrading to the 2.0 software. Needless to say, the first day was a mess.
After I finished with tennis I thought I would head to the Apple store on Knox Street in Highland Park, because I figured the line would have died down a bit. I got there around 9:30pm there were about 70 people in line. I was in line for about 10 minutes before a n employee at Apple store store announced to crowd that only the next 50 people were going to be served. He apologized to those waiting in line and those disappointed after waiting line for over two hours could come back tomorrow. I hadn't been there for too long so I didn't mind. I went to grab some food before heading home.
The next day I went to same Apple store around 6:45am and I was the 10th person in line. I brought my iBook and some other provisions to keep myself occupied while I waited for the doors to open at 8am. The people in line were really nice and we all talked about the all the issues that took place with the new iPhones the day before.
The doors opened and I was in the second wave of service. When I finally got in to get my phone I had to make a decision on which phone to get. I initially wanted the black 16gb version, but I changed my mind and got the white version of the same size. The white version didn't show smudges when touched and it looked more chic. I got my phone and was at the register ... and that's when I ran into problems.
I was one of many people at the store having issues with their existing AT&T account. I switched to AT&T 8 days prior and I an employee discount on my account and this cause problems. After talking to AT&T for nearly and hour they could not get my phone activated because of my employee discount. In order to get the iPhone at the $299 price, I would had to leave the store and head to an AT&T store and return my old phone and remove the discount. I was not leaving Apple store without an iPhone, so I asked the AT&T representative would I be able to get the phone if I added a new line to my account and canceled the old line at a later date. She said, "technically, that should work." I tried it out, and it worked and I got the phone for $299. I paid for the iPhone, and it was on to the next step ... activating it on iTunes. The process too about 2 minutes and I was out of there. I headed to AT&T store near my house to return my old phone but I was to forced to use the new number that was given to my iPhone instead of retained the number I received 8 days ago.
So, I got my iPhone and I am enjoying it. I already made a couple of ringtones for it just so I wouldn't have to use the default tones. I asked the Apple specialist if she is getting a free iPhone 3G for being an employee. I was told that she wasn't. I think all Apple employees and the AT&T reps deserve to get one for dealing with the needlessly complicated process.
Due to all of the restrictions, the Apple store I went to only sold about 400 iPhones on launch day. Last year, they probably sold that many iPhones in an hour. AT&T should allowed perspective iPhone owners to pre-register online, print out a receipt with a confirmation code or barcode, and bring it to store. You had to bring a Photo ID and give your Social Security Number, so the process would have seemed secured.
The process is flawed, but it worked out in the end. I will post my review of the phone next week.
After posing this question over a week ago, I think I know the reason why people lie. I don't believe that lying is not black or white, there are many shades of gray.
There are people who lie to the people they care about in order to make them feel better or spare their feelings -- because at that moment we think we are doing the what is best for them. There are people who are just devious and lie to get what they want despite the damage they could cause to others. There are people who lie to themselves for whatever reason to block out the painful truth. And then there are people who lie to get themselves out of potential negative/hostile situations.
I am sure there are many other categories but these are the ones I could rationalize. I believe at some point everyone has fallen or will fall in each of these categories at some point in their life. I know that I have. But at the end of the day, you have to be culpable for your actions.
I am basing these assumptions on my own personal experiences, so your mileage may vary.
Does anyone have any alternate theories?
Edited:
Here is a story I found interesting:
Will Smith reckons it's healthy to fancy other people when you're married and has no qualms telling his wife when he does.
The actor – who tied the knot with Jada Pinkett Smith 11 years ago – is determined to be honest about how he feels.
"Our perspective is, you don't avoid what's natural and you’re going to be attracted to people," Will explains.
"So sometimes we have the discussion: "Wow, this or that girl is freaking gorgeous". I'm not going to say anything to my buddies that's any different than what I say to my wife."
And Will, 39, reckons he'll tell Jada - and she'll tell him - if they ever feel the need to have sex with others. Read the rest here
First it was the US, then the UK, then Canada ... now Australia.
Project Runway Australia (PRAus) premiered this past Monday, and after seeing the first episode I think will be watching the entire series. I have watched all the incarnations of Project Runway and I think that the Australian version is the best. I know that is a bold statement considering that I have only see one episode, but until I am proved otherwise, I am going to stick that statement.
With Project Runway US premiering on July 16th, the original show isn't as enjoyable as when it first premiered. I have become indifferent to Tim Gunn because a mentor he doesn't do much to assist the designers on the show. That may be due to editing, but since I have been watching the show I have rarely seen him touch the clothing that is being made or offer assistance to make it better. Saying, "make it work," "that worries me," and "that's a whole lot of look" doesn't really give clear guidance to the designer. As much as I like Tim, he has been reduced to catch phrases.
Mentors Ben di Lisi (UK), Brian Bailey (Canada), and Henry Roth (Australia) and willing to tell the designer what is wrong with the garment they are making, but is the designers choice whether to use the advice. I think that's how things should be. But there has been an issue with a mentor being too helpful. Ben di Lisi, in series 3 of Project Catwalk, was accused by the other designers of giving too much help to a particular designer. Ben got all offended, but not to level of Tyra Banks on ANTM.
I will be watching the rest of the series, but I won't be doing a recap of the show. I may comment on episodes from time to time, but recaps are really time consuming. If you don't live in Australia, you should be able to catch the episodes YouTube at some point or bitTorrent.
If this guy's hair can't convince you to watch, then there is nothing more I can do.
It's funny how one's perspective can change with time. When I first came to Dallas the first guy I went on a date with wanted serious relationship right from the start. He made his intentions clear from the started that he saw me as "husband" material, which was something I wasn't interested in. I thought being in a new city I would date and see what is out there for me. I have started to realized why the guy was trying to lock me down so quickly ... there aren't many good men out there. Now I feeling like I am becoming the they guy that I once mocked.
When I realized I was gay, I never thought about marriage because I never thought it would not be a possibility. It had nothing to do with the legalities of gay marriage, but more with not understanding how a relationship with two men could work. I never met a gay couple (male or female) until I moved to Dallas and since then I met about 15. After spending time with these couples, some whom been together for over a decade, I've changed my outlook. Now seeing gay relationships first-hand I know that it's something that I would like to have. I know that relationships vary from couple to couple. Some couple are monogamous, some allow a 3rd to join periodically, and some are wide open. I prefer a completely monogamous relationship, but understand why others choose other types. Know what I want in/from a relationship the only issue is:
Where do I find my partner?
I discussed my issues with meeting people through dating websites, and I am mostly approached (and fondled) by men (and some woman) who I am not interested in for various reasons. I thought I found that person I was meant to be with, and we had these set milestones that we unfortunately we didn't reach ... however, they are not unreachable.
So where does that leave me?
Don't get me wrong -- I don't mind being single, I just thought I would already be settled in a long-term relationship by now. Someone I know made it his mission to get me "married off" by the end of this year. But he is now in a relationship and I don't see much of him.
I thought about this En Vogue song during my commute to work. I think it is resonates more now than ever. Also, I never realize until today that the acapella intro is the Jackson 5 song "Who's Loving You." Don't know how I missed that.
Movies: Hancock, Wall-E, Wanted, The Incredible Hulk
I decided to use the long weekend to see movies that are on my viewing list. With my buddy Paul visiting from Toronto, Onatrio, Canada, in tow we headed the local multiplexes to take in what Hollywood had to offer.
I was really excited about this movie because I am a fan of Will Smith, and I was in downtown LA when they were filming some of the action sequences in July 2007. Unfortunately, the movie did not live up to my expectations. The basic premise of the movie was interesting, but the executed was really poor. The acting was sub par, the direction and special fx weren't the greatest, and the storyline wasn't focused. Hancock becomes a very different movie during the second half and the real story should have been PR makeover by Ray Embery (Jason Bateman) and how Hancock handles being the toast of LA. Instead we get a weird, complicated relationship between John Hancock and Mary Embery (Charlize Theron) that doesn't really pay off in the end.
This is not a typical Will Smith considering isn't the stereotypical "good guy" and he uses expletives throughout the movie. Sure, it made a lot of money over the long holiday weekend -- but the movie lacks quality. If you want to see this, I say wait until it comes on DVD.
Wall-E is another movie I was excited to see. I never seen a Pixar movie in the theaters because I didn't want to be the oldest person there without a child. The premise of a movie that stars a robot that doesn't talk was interesting. There is very little dialogue for the first 40 minutes of the film but the robot Wall-E was anthropomorphic character with it is actions and expressions, that you forget that it isn't talking. The movie was odd due to the anti-corporate tone, considering it is being distributed by Walt Disney Company. The movie was really enjoyable with a great message. It is another Pixar classic, even though it is very unconventional. The visuals were amazing and it should been seen on a IMAX or DLP screen, provided that you have either in your area.
I didn't plan on seeing this movie, but I heard good things from people I know so I decided to check it out. At the beginning of the movie, I thought I would hate the movie but after 10 minutes I really get into the story. The best parts of the movie is hearing Academy Award winner Morgan Freeman drop the f-bomb multiple times. I see Morgan Freeman as a elegant guy with this regal presence, but hearing him curse made me like him even more. The movie lacked some back story on the assassins known as "The Fraternity," but it succeeds at being extremely entertaining.
I am not sure whether or not that this movie is a continuation of the first Hulk movie, directed by Ang Lee with Eric Bana as Bruce Banner, or a total re-imagination of the possible franchise. Ed Norton is new David Banner but this new version is nothing like the first.
Hulk is more of an origin story on how David Banner became the Hulk; and The Incredible Hulk is how Bruce Banner is looking to get rid of alter ego. Hulk was more emotional and gave more depth to each character, the new version doesn't really care about character development and just blows things up indiscriminately. These are two different movies with the same main character, but I much prefer the first Hulk movie because it felt like a comic book come to life and had a cohesive story. I didn't hate The Incredible Hulk but one thing bothered me -- why was the Hulk only about a foot taller than the character played by Liv Tyler? [edit: Hulk is only 7ft tall, so this makes sense.] If you plan on seeing The Incredible Hulk, I recommend seeing Hulk as well.
I had a random thought about what my ideal person would be, and I couldn't think of anything. There are things that I am attracted to, but they are superficial. I know people who have set descriptions of what they want their partner to be, but after time those qualities could change, so would the relationship last since they no longer fit that set ideal?
This is just a random thought I had in my head after being approached today. The person seemed nice, but I was not interested for a number of reasons -- the main reason being that I am still stuck on someone else.
Wimbledon 2008: Gentleman's Champ and Ladies' Doubles Champs
Rafael Nadal overcame Roger Federer to win his first Wimbledon title. The match went on for over 4.5 hours and it was the longest final match in the history of Wimbledon. Also, Rafael is the first person since Bjorn Borg in 1980 to win the French Open and Wimbledon in the same year. While I am happy Nadal won since I picked him, I was really rooting for Roger to win.
Venus and Serena Williams won the ladies' doubles title yesterday, which is their their third. The Williamses are prepping for the Olympics and looking to win their second gold medal in doubles.
Miss Venus Williams has successfully defended her 2007 Wimbledon title for her 5th 'Venus Rosewater Dish'. She was my favorite from the beginning and she didn't drop a set during this year's tournament. She was briefly challenged by Serena Williams in the final today, but managed to pull out the win. After the utter devastation of the ladies' side of the tournament, thanks to Zheng Jie of China, it was Venus' tournament to lose.
My last post was on the topic of lies, and think I found the answer to why most people lie: fear. It is easier to lie to get you out of a situation where there could be repercussions.Yesterday I was in a car accident, and the event helped me come to this conclusion.
I was idling at a red light when I saw a woman in my rearview mirror, driving a white Honda Accord, slowly inched closer to me before the eventual impact. When I got out she said that she was sorry, but blamed it on me suddenly braking -- ignoring that faced I was at a complete stop for a least 10 seconds before being struck. The damage was minimal but I still wanted to get the her information just be safe. The accident didn't bother me at all, because at the end of the day no one was hurt. This event helped me process a recent breakup.
A guy (who shall be referred to a HM) and I recently ended our nearly 3 month relationship over something (in hindsight) was pretty silly. I found some profiles on some adult oriented websites of him, and I asked him about it, and that's where everything went downhill. I wasn't mad but I just wanted: to know why did the profile exist?; and wanted the profile deleted. HM told me that he didn't have the password and he didn't recently use the account, which I knew was untrue. All this still didn't bother me because everyone has a past and skeletons were bound to be found in his closet. All I wanted was HM to say something like, "if it bothers you, I will deleted" or something along those lines ... but that never happened. HM tried to be me explanations on my the profile existed and then became really defensive. I reassured HM that things were fine and I just wanted him to be honest with me. I was fine with everything and wanted to move on, but he didn't feel the same way.
The events that followed were rather heated. In my quest for truth, I overstepped some boundaries, which I know look back and regret them. After all was said and done, I was still there willing to work things out and didn't see a breakup on the horizon. I would like to believe that this wouldn't have been an issue if HM would have just admitted to having the profile. We would have talked and got everything out in the open and moved on -- but I guess I was being too optimistic and expecting too much. At the very beginning I let him know that if issue arose that I was going to talk to him about in efforts to work things out. I guess he didn't feel as strongly as I do on the topic of communication.
But now I am wondering, what if I would have said nothing? Could I have stayed in a relationship which the other person is not being honest with me? You would think the answer would be easy, but in this case ... not so much. Yeah, I would be pretending that everything was fine in our relationship but once you start keeping secrets, it's the beginning of the end. HM wasn't cheating (this was confirmed not to be the case), but it could have been perceived that way. If I found the profile, people I know could have found the profile as well. So that bother me more than anything; having someone possible come to me with this information. Eventually HM explained the profile(s) and why he kept it up but it was already too late at that point.
To be completely honest, I was at first angry with HM, but now I am kind of disappointed that things didn't get resolved. After all that was said and done, we could have work this out and try to rebuild. I genuinely believe that HM is a good person. When I became ill this past May he jumped at the chance to take care of me. It wasn't necessary, but the fact that he offered meant a lot considering that we were only dating a month at the time. But, unfortunately, like me, he is stubborn and prideful. We couldn't see eye to eye on his having a profile because we both had opposing views. He initially thought it was okay because he wasn't meeting the people he chatted with and I felt differently. There was a lot of good between us that made me think we could have lasted for a long time. But with the good, there is the bad. If you can't work through the bad times, things can't get better. I wish I would have handled things a bit differently, but what was done is done.
After the all the events of the past two week, I would still be willing to work things out provided that there would have to be a lot more honesty involved. It's hard to break completely free from someone with who you were in a relationship. At least I can remember the good times.
HM, you are a good guy and when I hear this song or see this video, I will always think of you.
If you have a thought or a possible reason on why people lie, leave a comment below. Forward this post to someone else, if you like. I want to pose this question to as many people as possible, because I really would like to hear what y'all have to say.
This question is a prequel of sorts to a post scheduled for this Thursday. It's all about how lies can kill a relationship ... also, someone just told me a bare-faced lie to me about 10 minutes in an email.
